Sleep is for the weak and four things to answer one question.

I slept like poo last night. I was in so much pain last night I could barely walk up the stairs. Then when I would finally fall asleep anytime I moved pain shot through my hip and legs that I would wake up. Then around 1:55 am I started coughing really bad... so much so that Tyler started to cuss in his sleep so I decided to go lay downstairs on the couch. Still could not sleep. Ugh... I am so flippin tired. I "woke up" looking like night of the living dead or a professional boxer. The circles under my eyes are so dark and puffy! Thanks God for makeup. Not too exciting I know but this is what you get when I have had no sleep. Sorry! I am so tired I don't even want to find a picture to add to this post... what will you do?

Well to make it somewhat more exciting I got another one of those answer these questions things... this one's twist is for every question you have to give four answers. Yippy skippy here we go:

A) 4 Jobs I have had:

1. Daycare employee - lots of fun playing with kids 1-4.

2. Tele-marketer - I actually enjoyed this job alot.

3. Movie theatre employee - Got to see lots of free movies.

4. Financial Aid Counselor - allows me to help lots of people.

B) 4 movies I can watch over and over:

1. Lost Boys - the best movie of all time, ok well at least I think so.

2. Queen of the Damned - So weird but the soundtrack to this movie turns me on!

3. Shrek - in the morning I'm makin waffles! Or No one says hell no I don't like no parfaits.

4. Princess Bride - Hello my name is Inego Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.

C) 4 places I have lived:

1. Wichita, KS

2. Frankfurt, Germany

3. Killen, TX

4. Denver, CO

D) 4 TV shows that I watch:

1. The Office

2. Ghost Hunters aka TAPS

3. Hell's Kitchen - when it is on

4. Hannah Montana - I will admit it!

E) 4 places I have been: (Besides where I have lived):
1. Progresso, Mexico

2. Berlin, Germany - both before and after it was one city

3. Hugo, CO - my home away from home

4. Dallas, TX
F) 4 people who email me regularly:

1. Gals at work

2. My grandparents

3. My mother

4. People who want to sell me things aka SPAM!

G) 4 of my favorite foods:

1. Cheesecake - any flavor will do!

2. Chinese food - mmm love lo mien, chicken egg rolls, crab rangoon

3. Cheese dip from Carlos O Kelly's

4. Chicken without the bones... they creep me out and I can't eat it!
H) 4 more places I would like to see:

1. Anywhere in Australia

2. Anywhere in England

3. Anywhere in Scotland or Ireland

4. Anywhere in Alaska

I) Four things I am looking forward to next year:

1. Learning how to work on cars

2. Helping out more on the family ranch

3. Helping my parents set up a bakery in Hugo, CO

4. Getting to know me better!

A night of firsts.... and boy howdy was it fun!

Last night was a couple of firsts for me… but I am only going to share one with you all as the other is, well, quite frankly none of your business! Guess what the other first was! Well have you guessed yet? Sorry you guessed wrong… last night I learned to play beer pong! Surprisingly it was a lot of fun! Although the first round was a bit hard to chug down because I was playing with Crown and Dr Pepper, since I don’t like beer… mind you there was not a lot of Crown in them. But I found something out Crown and Dr Pepper is gross mixed together and taste like the brown tootsie pops. You know where they have the chocolate flavored candy on the outside and it doesn’t taste quite right because it is not really chocolate. Yeah… I was able to gulp down the first oh 7 glasses or so and after that they were hard to finish because of the taste. Besides that was more liquid than I normally drink in a day. So the second round I went with beer… although there was no faith that I could handle using two beers like you are supposed to fill the 10 glasses so only one was used. Oh well they were a lot easier to chug down than the Crown and Dr Pepper. But you know what… I had a blast! It would have been more fun with more people… although anyone on my team may or may not have been mad because I was not a good shot. Although I think I got both balls into one cup at one point. So yea me! Oh and how horrible is this… one of the balls bounced out of a cup right in front of me and I accidentally knocked it back into my cup… score for the other team! See this is why I don’t play sports; I would end up scoring for the other team, a lot. I am sad and pathetic but that was the most fun I have had ever… and the most I have ever had to drink in my life. I was told that I talked a lot last night and my cheeks were red so I was buzzed, wouldn’t really know since I have never drank that much. I kinda figured as long as what I was saying was nice and not sad and depressing stuff then I was still in control of what I was saying, so go me. Anyways I can’t wait to play it again… better believe it will be with beer… no more nasty brown tootsie pop alcohol for me.

And I want to share a scary on the money horoscope that I found. It was in the latest Tattoo Society Magazine (I think). They are horoscopes for the morally impaired by Madam Govina. Here is what it says for all the Libras in the house: “I know you like to get all “Pollyanna” this time of the year; feeding the homeless, donating to local charities, spaying and neutering all the feral cats in the neighborhood. It’s a lovely thought, really, but you might want to leave some of that to the professionals. Try not to blow your whole load. Save some of that cheery optimism for New Years. You’re going to need it.” How scary is that? I have at least 7 or 8 volunteer activities on my plate right now… don’t know if I am quite to the Pollyanna stage yet (which if you don’t know who Pollyanna is you are not watching enough Hallmark when they play the old movies) but I am still doing my best. Plus New Year’s Day is my anniversary and sadly I will need to save a bit of the cheery optimism (fake or real it makes no difference) for that day. Whoever Madam Govina is I want to meet her! I am sure she is more real than Ms. Cleo was… hey whatever happened to her. She was always on the TV doing her little Jamaican accent (and yes as I am typing the voice in my head is talking with that same accent) telling everyone she was there to guide them. Now nothing… actually you don’t see too many psychic commercials anymore. I guess all the text commercials took that over… why charge $1.99 a minute when you can charge $3.99 a text and a monthly fee of $9.99 and send 10 texts a day?

See my progression of random ideas mystery first, beer pong, horoscopes, psychics and text messages. Wow how can I follow that up? Oh I know this idea popped into my head while I was in the shower this morning. I always save the little fortune cookies fortunes if I like them. Like on my computer right now I have one taped up that says “the near future holds a gift of contentment” but I never know what to do with them. So I am going to tape them into my planner – got a really pretty new planner for 2008. The old one I had several sayings about God… so I am going to write them smaller and put them in the front cover and decorate the back cover with the fortunes… I know not really all that exciting but I never promised you that I would entertain you all the time! So you can re-read the beer pong section and be slightly entertained before you close the window down.

Tattoo who?

I am a weenie by nature when it comes to pain. Well some pain I guess... you know me I have to be weird with everything I do. So my weird thing when it comes to needles, you can take as much out of me as you want but putting stuff in me... no thank you! I have always wanted a tattoo but have never been brave/stupid enough to get one. Can't really think of anything that I want forever imprinted on my body; no where on my body looks good enough to slap a tattoo on it; what if I end up hating it years or even days from when I get one? I guess that is the thing about tattoos they forever remind you of the choices you have made in life... unless your superstar rich and want to go through even more pain to get it taken off of you.

Anyways sitting at work today and decided that I would try to play with an idea for a tattoo. A toad wearing a cowboy hat. Ok, so to most people this seems very silly and something that I probably would end up hating in a few years. But before you laugh at me... how many of you have some tribal tattoo gracing a body part? No seriously I think it would be a very fitting tattoo to get (as fitting as they go) my Papa calls me Toad. He is a cowboy... always kinda figured he was born in the wrong place on the timeline. Anyways I have always loved going out to the ranch and playing cowboy or cowgirl I guess. So why not? Other idea's that I have had in the past have come and gone... in high school I really wanted Iris's eye for absolutely no good reason; I have wanted my initials both before being married and after; I have wanted a heart with wings although my heart doesn't have any wings to it more like horns which actually was what I wanted on the heart; I have also wanted an orange Gerber daisy; I have wanted the words "Let it be" on the inside of my wrist - still kind of do. See I have thought about it more than just picking a flash off the wall but still I am chicken and just don't know. Anyways here are some pictures of my crude attempt to see what a toad wearing a cowboy hat would look like... I really like the one where he is peeking out of the plants which I thought could be orange daisies... See some of the ideas still carry through.

Anyhow this was my brilliant idea for today I guess... that is sad that this is brilliance! Oh well I think they are cute and if I had a better program than paint I would probably make one of these little guys my backdrop on my computer... but I don't so I won't. So there!

It's been a while... what's new with you?

Wow it has been a while since I last posted a blog. Not a lot has happened... Thanksgiving came and went... lots of yummy food and time with family; lots of naps or at least trying to take naps; dogs continuing to dig out of the yard; spending time with Tim and Copper... who peed on my feet, so not cool little dude(!); setting up my Christmas tree and wrapping presents... I think I am almost done shopping(!), I found a wine that I actually really like (Thank you Tim) it is called Evolution it is really good and well just trying to relax and enjoy myself in general. Yup that is a quick recap of my last week... nothing too exciting is that sad? Probably just a little. I think the most exciting part of my time off was getting peed on by a dog... made me see how quick my reflexes could be I guess... but still gross! And I had just been really nice to him and feed him pizza, guess I should have not finished the last bite. Oh and I drew on my jeans Sunday and guess what... I have black sharpie marker all over my thighs! Lol, guess the jeans were a little on the thin side.



Ok... I have an irrational fear of birds. I know, birds are tiny, birds are cute, birds can fly, birds can't hurt you.... who cares it is a phobia and I am afraid of them! Little or big, cute or scary it makes no difference! They all creep me out. If I am driving and a huge flock of birds fly overhead I seriously get freaked out and have this reflex to close my eyes, not the best reflex to have while driving. I don't remember having this fear until I was in well probably middle school. No one in the family remembers me being attacked by a bird or any reason why I should be afraid of them. The only thing I can attribute it to is one time at a vacation bible school I was helping this gal show these animals off to the little kids. I had a little bird that I was supposed to show off. Well the little bird decided to try to fly off of my finger... the only problem is the bird had clipped wings and so it slammed on the ground. All of a sudden I had like 10 people yelling at me for dropping this bird. Maybe somewhere in my subconscious my brain associates birds with loud noises and hateful words... who knows... all I know is now they freak me out! Everyone laughs at me for this irrational fear but I want to show you all what I see when I bird is near me.... maybe you won't laugh anymore! See they are scary little buggers! They will "eat you me!" (This is what I said the first time I saw a horse)


Tonight I get to drive about an hour away from home to do a presentation over the FAFSA! Yippy! To make matters worse - yes that's right worse than an hour long presentation over a government form - the government has not yet sent me next year's forms! So these poor parents will get to try to follow my presentation without a handout, how awful is that? Oh well I guess it gets me out of the house and out of the city. Not that I am sure my car can handle it... yesterday the RPMs geared up to like level 8 and then my car slammed really hard. It seriously felt like I had been rear-ended by someone. So I call my handy dandy car guy, again thank you Tim, and he delivers these scary words... "You know your little car has about had it right?" No-no-no I can't afford another car... besides I like my little go-cart. Oh well... maybe some miracle will happen and all of it's little quirks will go away. Well miracles do happen right?

You may never hear me say this again... Thank God it's Monday!

What a weekend! I keep waiting for something else to go wrong. Let's see Friday afternoon I got a call from Tim saying his step-mom was at the hospital having a seizure. So I gave his dog food and water then headed up to the hospital. Got there about 5:30pm and left around 1am or so. It was a scary. In order to get her calmed down where they could do a CAT scan they had to paralyze her and intubate her. But she is doing better now and is at least in a normal room so all of the family can visit her, unlike the Neural CCU that would only allow 2 people at a time.

Saturday my dogs ran away. They dug a hole under the back of the fence and who knows what they did once they were out. I was crying so hard I gave myself an asthma attack and I was throwing up alot. Ick! I drove around the neighborhood crying and calling out their names, went to the KS Humane Society and filed a missing dogs report, mom went to the pound up north and I was on my way home when I got a phone call from a guy who asked me if I had a little black dog. Yes I do!! Do you have a brown dog too? Yes, Yes! They were about a mile away from home trying to play with this guy's dog. He and his neighbor were sitting out front with them on leashes waiting for me to show up. When Penny saw me get out of the car she started to race towards me and pulled this large man up off his feet! The guy who called asked me to wait around so I could see his dog... ok you just found my dogs I will do whatever you want me to! He brings his dog out and she looks just like Salsa, just a little lighter! How neat is that? Anyways Salsa smelled like she had rolled around in horse poo... which is entirely possible if they went into Pawnee Prairie Park. So when we got home their punishment was getting a bath! Ha-Ha-Ha! And last night I went to Wal-mart and got a new if found please call tag for Salsa because hers was missing. They also both got new collars... Penny cause hers was really faded and Salsa because hers was soaking wet with something that smelled like horse pee... so I don't know if a horse peed on her or what. So now Penny has a flower collar and Salsa had a chili pepper collar!

Sunday was a day for relaxing. I slept in until about 10:30. Then I laid down to take a nap from about 1 until 3 or so. Such a sleepy kind of day! Oh I did work on Tim's car scrapbook a little so I guess it was a productive day... well just slightly productive.

Where has the time gone?

I can't believe I only have one more test to go in my undergraduate "career", where has the time gone? When I originally went to college - right out of high school - I was 17 and the next 3 1/2 years seemed to drag on before I was able to walk across the stage and be the proud owner of a piece of paper that says that I had earned a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a minor in Sociology. (Yes I know I have a BS and I am full of BS!) See my picture? Ignore the double chin, back angle I am sure, and focus on all the pretty cords! The yellow one was for graduating with graduation honors (that's right good ole 2.38 GPA in high school got graduation honors in college) and the blue and white one is for Pi Gamma Mu the International Honor Society for Social Sciences. I should have had another blue and yellow one for Psi Chi the National Honor Society in Psychology but the professor did not get the paperwork done in time for me to have it at graduation. That is ok I will have it this time around and I guess it will replace the hood (yellow thing across my throat) that they have decided not to use for undergraduates anymore.

One week after that date it was Christmas, another week it was my wedding day and the third week after I graduated I started my job as a Financial Aid Counselor for the university I graduated from. Ever since then it seems like time has just flown by! After a year of working at the university I was eligible for a really generous tuition waiver program so I decided that I would go back to school. I really liked my sociology classes and the few criminal justice classes I took when I was working on my first degree. They were not only interesting but they seemed to all work together, in my world view, to explain the world we live in. Now I know that Psychologists hate Sociologist and vice versa but I see it as a combination of fields that should work together to figure out the problems we are facing. Think of it this way individuals make up society so psychology is important and then how those individuals interact with each other creates the societies that we are forced to live in and so sociology is important. Then I just enjoy criminal justice in all it's glory and gore.

Well I decided that because I already had a minor in sociology and I had taken so many criminal justice classes the first time around why not finish up two more degrees? Besides I only had another 36 credit hours to earn before I could get both... why not? So I took the leap and went back to classes in January of 2006... 5 semesters later I only have four more weeks until graduation! I can't believe it, what am I going to do with no classes to go to, no papers to write at the last minute, no tests to cram for and with more free nights every week? You might say relax but I don't know if I can do that? More than likely I will go back to school someday to go further in my education... but that will just make me decide what I want to be when I grow up and I don't know if I am ready to grow up anytime soon.

If anyone is interested in seeing me walk across the stage the graduation ceremony is on December 15th at 10am. The ceremony will be taking place at Central Community Church, 6100 W Maple.

I always knew that my dream car would be orange but not that it would be so pretty

Ok so I am a weird girl I know. But growing up I hung out with guys and have always had an interest in cars. Now don’t get me wrong, I know very little about them but they have always interested me. I know enough to be able to tell when two cars of the same make and model are sitting next to each other which is the older of the two. Some cars I can pick out by their body type. When people point at a car and say look it’s your car I can tell if it really is a Mercury Tracer or a Ford Escort, they both look really similar and were actually built in the same factory… I actually have a few parts that say Ford in my Mercury. I always am able to appreciate a classic car when it goes driving by. And, thank you, thank you, I can fill up my car’s oil, coolant, and windshield washer fluid. Baby, Baby isn’t that such a sexy thing for a girl to know how to do?

My freshman English class I spent more time talking to Jason the guy next to me about cars than reading whatever classic we were supposed to be reading. He would bring model cars to class with hydraulics in them and show them off to me. That was the best English class I have ever been in… also the first time I have ever called a teacher a bitch to their face too! (Is it weird that that teacher stopped me my junior year and told me I was always one of her favorite students? Don’t know where that came from) My sophomore year on I would hang out with my boyfriend, Nick, and his best friend, Chris, as they rebuilt this engine or that. I remember watching them rebuild an old Chevy Pick up truck’s engine… I remember they painted it a bright blue color. Now they were not so into telling me anything about what they were doing and would laugh when I asked anything. But that’s ok I still watched and kinda learned a few things. Chris actually has gone on to be an airplane mechanic in the Air Force, go him! My best friend is always working on some car… and he told me he was excited that I was watching him adjust the valves on his engine, that I was actually in front of the car and paying attention to what he was doing. I guess not too many girls have been that into his working on cars. Right now he is rebuilding the engine in his ’95 Chevy Impala/Caprice and I have been watching him work on for a few months now on and off. Granted I don’t know a lot of what is going on I am getting better about know what parts are what. And I have to admit I never realized that a mountain of parts could come off of an engine. I saw the one he bought to rebuild when it first came in and then one day I go over and it had shrunk and next to is was a huge pile of parts. More power to him that he remembers what parts go where because I would have been lost! And I have to admit it was a very cute sight to see when his adjustment on the valves turned out good and Hopeless (the car) sounded great. He looked up with the biggest smile I have ever seen him smile and whisper "Thank you!" I don't think he knows I caught that. Anyways off subject.

Anyways this post started because when I told him I enjoyed watching/trying to learn and maybe I would actually know something he laughed and told me one day I would be rebuilding my own. Yup that’s right. He has a lot of faith in me that I can rebuild my own car. Ever since I was little, like elementary school, I have always wanted my very own orange Volkswagen Bug. I can’t drive a stick but I still want the little car. Well he knows that and is trying to convince me that I will be able to rebuild my own bug. So I was looking around online today to just get some heads up info in case this actually comes to be and I found a couple of really neat websites and I about died… on a listing of VW Bugs for sale I saw the most beautiful car I have ever seen! It was amazing! It was a 1973 Super Beetle with only 18,900 miles on it. I would so love this car!!! It is the best color… orange! Originally too! This car comes with the original window sticker, owners manual, warranty card, original tires, no rust, the original wooden shift stick knob that was a factory special at the time… the most amazing car ever!!! All for only $17,750, I am telling you if I had that much money I would be the proud owner of my dream car! I can't tell you how much this brightened my day to see all the pictures... I was almost drooling on my keyboard looking at them all. If you want to know what car made me loose my mind you can look here: http://www.oldbug.com/horvathsuper.htm. If you don’t want to go into that much care here is a picture of the prettiest, most amazing car ever!

Anyways at some point my goal it to get down and dirty while building my dream car… because learning how to drive it has to come after you have it right? Maybe I should start with small goals and learn how to change my own oil. I had planned on having him teach me with the last change but he was stressed with lots of things going on at that time so I let good old Wally World change it for me. But the next time around I hope to change it myself. Wish me luck!

Smoothness!

I will be the first to admit my name should be Graceless. Last night at Wal-mart I was bending down to look at a clearance Halloween item and smacked my head into a little price sign thing. Today my forehead still hurts! I guess I am just lucky that I don't have some big black and blue bruise on my face... wait - yup just checked and there is no large bruise! What story could I have come up with to go with a large forehead bruise? I was cast in a "Could Of Had A V-8" commercial and got repeatedly smacked in the head? That actually might work with what type of item I was reaching for... Halloween candy. Yup that is what I am going to tell people if a bruise shows up I was in a V-8 commercial! I hate V-8 too so I promise I would have been the one getting smacked in the head!

Oh look! I was finally sent pictures of the centerpieces that we made for the presidential inauguration day luncheon at work. Theses pictures are not the best but oh well... they were very pretty and then they were put on a square glass. Very free flowing and fun to make. I like doing projects where there is no right or wrong answer. Basically for these there was a blob of clay in the center of a plate then you stuck twirly twigs in it going random directions. The first picture is of the group of gals that I worked with to make them. Like how I am hiding behind all the twigs? I really love all of these fun gals... and for some of them this whole free flowing no right or wrong answer things was a very hard to deal with concept. But they all turned out great! So if anyone needs a cheap but pretty centerpiece I am willing to help out! I think these ended up being like $5 a piece. I guess I could have saved their budget some as the blue dinner plates they chose are one of the sets of dishes I have. I guess they are my "cheap" dishes... but who really cares I like the color of them! Besides there is nothing wrong with Wal-mart dishes. My really expensive orange and red German dishes are all cracked and chipped after 3 years of use. Not like I ever have anyone over to eat off of them anyways!

Warning: Poor Me Venting Post

This picture kinda sums up how I feel sometimes. Look around and there are tons of people around but still your stuck all alone and you can't go towards those around. Goes with the line I have used for this blog as the title... from Third Eye Blind's first CD. It has always been a song that I have resonated with, sadly.

Do you ever say something that you almost immediately regret. I find myself doing this more and more lately. I don't know why I have gotten to the point where I say everything that comes to mind, regardless of the consequences. I hate it! It just ends up hurting those I love... and I know it hurts them but I still continue to do it. I don't know how to apologize to them because I know that I have hurt them... even when I don't want that. Life has spun out of control for me and I am not sure how to get it back on track, if there is such a thing as on track. My life sucks most of the time. I have to fit any part of "living" or having fun in the hours that my husband is at work. It makes me jealous of my friends who get to go have fun no matter what time of the day it is. They get to hang out with whoever they want and don't have to worry about "getting in trouble." How sad is it that when I talk to friends about hanging out it comes down to aren't you going to get in trouble? I am so tired of not being able to do what I want with who I want! When I try to explain how it would be worth "getting in trouble" to hang out with a friend I get told that it makes them upset to hear me being ok with it. I don't get it... how have I progressed to where I make everyone mad whether or not I mean to? Is there something about me that just screams out "hey I am here just trying to have some little sense of fun but that's ok you just go ahead and squash that by telling me that I should not have fun because I might get in trouble?" Trouble what is that anyways? Life sucks the way it is... I have to cram any enjoyment that I can into a few hours... is it not worth it to get in trouble along the way?

Heck I have never been a crazy go wild type of gal. I have never done anything remotely crazy. I have friends who have done such amazing things and I am so jealous! I have become a really jealous type of person lately and I hate that about myself. I am not really jealous that they have done somethings - because some of the things that some of my friends have done have been very stupid and dangerous - more jealous that they were able to let loose and have fun. Today Tim and I were talking about some drink, oh he was telling me about a bar that he goes to all the time. When he was naming off a few drinks to me I just had to shrug because I did not know what they were and he told me sometime you will have to go with me and try one. I just had to laugh and say sure sometime. We all know that is not going to happen anytime soon... he goes out to the bars after my "curfew" and he doesn't want me to get in trouble. And seriously I doubt that I have it in me to have a good time at a bar wouldn't know what to do I guess. So what do I do when I get home I text him some awful things that I knew I should not say... but I can't help it! I think I take out alot of aggression I have on him because I know he is my best friend and he will always be there for me... but one of these days I am afraid I will go to far and he will say enough is enough. There are a few things I do where even while I am telling myself "stop doing this you need to stop" I keep going. I will even be saying it out loud and I still continue it. Texting bad things is one and there is another thing that I do that I am just not comfortable saying even in this pseudo journal. When is it my turn to do wild things? I was telling Tyler on Halloween that it might be fun to go out to a bar that night because everyone would be in costume and well it might be fun... his response was a spiteful "I thought we were pass that stage." Pass that stage? I have never gone through that stage! In my life I have done half a shot and finish one (that's right one) wine cooler. Wow! What a stage... and sadly that was within the last 6 months. I just feel like I have missed out on something. I am 24 and feel like I am an old fuddy duddy. When I have gone places and asked if I want a drink, like a work function, and I say no I get asked what are you Mormon? I don't know this is just a long rambling going no where post. I started this more as an apology to the friends I hurt and I end up complaining that my life stinks and I have never done anything crazy.

So to my best friend - If you read this I really am sorry for the things I do to you. It is not fair to you in any way shape or form. I know I apologize all the time to you (and to everyone for that matter) so they end up sounding hollow but I really do want to let you know I am going to really try to listen to that little voice that shouts at me all the time. Thank you for putting up with me and all of my nonsense. So very often you are one of the only one I can turn to and I really appreciate your support.

To everyone else - sorry that this one is not a fun post to read. Thank you for letting me vent. Hopefully the next couple of posts will be more light hearted.

Crafts Crafts Crafts

Look! I planted seeds really early in April and nothing ever really grew. Well I take that back a lot of baby's breath grew but none of the marigolds grew. I was shocked to see that I had some orange marigolds had popped up! Just in time for the winter freeze but that is ok at least something pretty grew! Plus they are orange! What a perfect little pick me up on my front porch.

I have been working on a few crafts lately. One was my niece's name in large decorated letters. I had slacked off on them and finished them up, oh well let's see about 20 minutes before the birthday party. Aunt Vicki came through at the last minute... nothing like procrastinating! Here is a picture of the letters.

Here are some little monster dolls that I have been working on too. Everyone is going to get one, well the little kids in the family at least, for Christmas. I know they are not the greatest but at least they have been giving me something to do at night before I go to bed. Only one is stuffed so far. The others are a little flat but hopefully still slightly cute.

Well that is about it for today. I need to study for a midterm... wow after this Thursday only one more test to go before I am done! I so can not wait! I am also going to go over to Tim's for a bit. We did not get to hang out on Friday because he ended up needing to work... he is one dedicated guy. I can't imagine getting up really early in the morning going to work and working really late into the night. Me once 5 rolls around I a skipping out the door!

What's in a number? Ok alot when it comes to weight I guess

Ok have you ever had one of those moments when you just want to scream? Seriously I know I have been loosing weight lately – which is a good thing because I was over weight according to my doctors – but when someone keeps harassing you on it, well it is just annoying. I went to lunch yesterday with my husband, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and my cute as can be almost 1 year old niece. Well I saw my MIL & SIL in the parking lot. Well my MIL walked up to me and stood in front of me and said “you are getting skinny! Are you eating?” Ok first off I weigh like 145lbs not that skinny babe, granted in June I was up to 170lbs so it is much better than before. I was like yes I am eating. She would not let me move and goes “are you sure you are eating?” Well let’s think about this even if I was not eating do you think I would just admit that, come on now. So I reply yes I am eating. “Well what are you doing then?” I am simply eating until I am full, not king sizing my meals and then forcing myself to eat it all until I am so full and overstuffed that I feel sick. Before Halloween rolled around, with all of the readily available candy, I was also trying not to eat as much sweets and junk food.

I almost felt like I was being accused of being anorexic… which is funny because in high school I was and no one said boo. My freshman year in high school I weighed just under 200lbs and my boyfriend cheated on me with a gal who was way worse off than I was but it shattered what little self-esteem I had left so I basically stopped eating. All I would eat in a day was a small vending machine size pack of cheese-its and a diet coke. By the start of my sophomore year I was down to a size 5! Boy was I skinny! My friends from high school have talked to me about it in recent years and said they were worried about me and wanted to say something to my mom but never did. I just don’t get how when I was starving myself no one said anything but now that I am trying to actually keep weight off in a realistic manner of just eating until I am full I am getting attacked for not eating and doing something wrong.

I also did not want to tell her that in addition to eating right I am also not sitting on the couch all weekend long, while Tyler was at work, eating food cause I was bored out of my mind like I did up until the summertime. Now I am able to hang out with Tim for a portion of most weekends which keeps me busy and away from food and when I am still sitting at home I am making more of a conscious effort to not to just snack mindlessly. When I mention Tim she goes crazy - Did you ever want to marry him? (I am assuming this means past tense during high school so lets see other than the really short two weeks we dated my sophomore year when I did the silly girl thing of writing your name out with your boyfriends last name... no. Boy I would have a great last name by now if that was true let's see Saunders-Leal-Covey-Townsend-Ball-Carson yeah cause that would be great! Lol, besides Ball would be repeated so many times inbetween all the other names it would be annoying.) Do you wish it would have worked out? (Um we realized at the time that there was no way a relationship could or would work out between us and we both needed each other more as a friend than anything else, so no. Plus we were in high school god if I married any of the guys I dated seriously in high school I would be a very different person... lol probably bare foot, under educated, eating Fazolli's every meal and way below poverty line.) Does he have a girl friend yet? (What does it matter if he does or does not?) I almost want to answer yes to one of the first two questions to freak her out! Besides what kinds of sane woman asks her DIL those questions oh wait this is the same woman who from almost the first couple of months after we got married even up to now asks me at least once a month "Do you think you will get a divorce?" Oh well I know she means well and I love her to death, but I don’t need the 3rd degree every time I see her.

If you are interested in the progression of me from skinny to chunky to normal weight you can see it in these pictures. The first is from my wedding at like 125lbs on 1-1-05, second is from April of this year around 170lbs (cute “little” guy is my single brother who is a cook - oh and he is tickling me thats why I look goofy "right") and the last kinda blurry picture is from October of this year around 145lbs at a baby shower see you can see a little definition/outline to my body that was not there in April. Sorry I can’t find a better newer picture but I am never in front of the camera always behind it.

Facts about me -- you may or may not want to know all of these!

Just in case you wanted to know alot of little known facts about me here you go. If you got the emailed version of this those where I plead the 5th I actually answered them here... lol well there is a better answer maybe not a complete answer though! Can't make it too easy to black mail me now can I?Plus on some of them I added to the answer as well. Enjoy reading all these questions... if you get bored you can give me your answers to them too!

1. Were you named after anyone? I think I asked this once and it was some distant relative of my dad’s.
2. When was the last time you cried? Um last week… got in the car to go home after hanging out with Tim and just broke into tears. Nothing bad happened or anything, well I know why I cried but I won't share it sorry!
3. Do you like your handwriting? It is chicken scratch and I know it. So I guess that is a no.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Mesquite Smoked Turkey – but it has to be paired with Havarti Cheese
5. Do you have kids? If you count the dogs then yes.
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Probably not… I know how I can be! I would run for the hills!
7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Me? Never! Oh wait only all the time!
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Unless I was part of an alien abduction last night and they were yanked out in the dead of the night, yes.
9. Would you bungee jump? Bungee Jump – no my luck I would hit the bridge on the way up. But sky dive… anytime! Not that I have done it yet but I think Tim, his brother and his girl friend are going soon and I might go with them!
10. What is your favorite cereal? I really like peanut butter captain crunch – even though it leaves a funky taste in your mouth.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope I leave them double knotted. I hate tying them for some reason.
12. Do you think you are strong? I want to pretend that I am strong both mentally and physically. So I will say yes just to keep that allusion going strong!
13. What is your favorite ice cream? I really like Cherry Cordial ice cream or strawberry. Mmm and hot fudge topping and more maraschino cherries! Ok I want ice cream now! (PS: I never get these types if ice cream cause Tyler refused to eat it... so on Tuesday I wend out and bought myself some chineese food and a thing of the cherry cordial ice cream! It was a bad couple of days and I had no one to hang out with but myself so I figured I deserved it!)
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their handshakes, I can not stand weak handshakes… sorry if you have one.
15. Red or Pink? Red out of these options - but orange trumps all! Oh last night I met a guy at the Dollar Tree whose favorite color was orange too! He was the cashier and wanted to know where I got my orange credit card!
16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? How I feel the need to fix things for every one else, and get upset when I can’t. Or how I can't stand up for myself when I need to. Or how about how I have almost no self confidence. You get to pick the saddest and most pathetic one out of the 3!
17. Who do you miss the most? Myself when I had self confidence - but I have not seen those days since well honestly 3rd or 4th grade.
18. Do you want everyone to reply to this? Sure I know you all have nothing better to do like me!
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Black pants and black shoes… wow pretty bold combination huh?
20. What was the last thing you ate? I ate some lucky charms this morning at 6:30. I never eat breakfast but the little marshmallows sounded good!
21. What are you listening to right now? Charly flipping paper around and the gals up front talking.
22. If you were a crayon what color would you be? I once saw this orange crayon that was mac-n-cheese orange. Two great things in one!
23. Favorite smells? The smell of rain right before and after a storm. The smell of adidas cologne… reminds me of someone back in high school. Still think of that when I smell it even though they have graduated to more adult scents now! Give you a hint - cute butt in a pair of tight cowboy jeans.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Um Pat telling me I had a student wait up front.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I love my Aunt Jillfy! I really wish we lived closer so we could see each other more.
26. Favorite sports to watch? Wait you can actually enjoy watching sports? When did this happen?
27. Hair color? Dark brown… at sadly at 24 a few silver hairs mixed in.
28. Eye color? Hazel – green on the outer ring with light brown bursting from the center… ok so I had a mirror next to me.
29. Do you wear contacts? Yup!
30. Favorite food? Well I really like veggie bars with cream cheese, ranch dressing and veggies on a crescent roll crust. Someone talked to me about making them for thanksgiving today so they sound really good right now!
31. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings would be nice but my life is more like the scary movies.
32. Last movie you watched? Saw IV last night… very weird ending! Was a thinker!
33. What color shirt are you wearing? A comfy grey sweater I stole from Tim!
34. Summer or winter? Neither more of a Fall girl myself!
35. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
36. Favorite dessert? Cheesecake! I love it so much more than it loves me though, it’s a very roller coaster relationship!
37. What book are you reading now? Finishing up “No Matter How Load I Shout: A year in the LA juvenile court system.”
38. What is on your mouse pad? Very bright colored dots with the slogan “making the difference for you!”
39. What did you watch on TV last night? I watch Ghost Hunters aka Taps! (Love that show)
40. Favorite sound? I should plead the 5th but I love the sound of someone moaning when you give them a back rub. Promise I really am talking about honest to god back rubs here!
41. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
42. What is the farthest you have been from home? Um I went to Progresso Mexico last year that was pretty far away! Also not where I was supposed to end up but that’s a whole other story.
43. Do you have a special talent? Not really any that I know of.
44. Where were you born? Wheatridge, CO
45. Just how bored are you to fill this out? Very bored but just think of how bored those are that decide to read it all!

Went Christmas shopping yesterday... deals, deals, and more deals!

Well let’s see what is new to talk about? Yesterday I worked on some center pieces for a big event that is happening on 11/9 at my work. As soon as I get a picture of them I will post it. They were beautiful and oh so easy to do! Tyler got upset at me (like yelling at me upset) because I was working through lunch on them and not going to lunch with him on his day off. So since the centerpieces got done earlier than we thought and since I did not have too much to do back at the office I took off the afternoon to make him happy. We ended up Christmas shopping! I am telling you I got some good deals! I am a bargain queen and I almost will refuse to buy anything if it is not on sale or clearance. We have several cousins to buy gifts for and we found some flash drives for like $2.48 (!) so we bought a whole bunch. They are not huge on the memory side but they still should be good enough to hold a few papers for school. I got a battle ship game set for $3.99 too! I also went down the clearance Halloween aisle and found some really cute baby outfits for like $.74… I don’t have a baby but someday I might right? They are all orange anyways and you know me I love orange so my kid (if I ever have one) will always be decked out in orange! And heck last year I bought a baby costume for $.97 and Tyler’s cousin used it for her baby this year, so it all works out. Plus I got myself a few long sleeved t-shirts for like $.70 in the Halloween stuff, I figure they will work under other shirts year round and for that price why not? Anyways I think we crossed off like 15 people off the list yesterday… what a relief!

I also bought some letters that I am going to decorate for my niece’s 1st birthday party on Saturday. I got as far as gluing the paper on the front of them before I decided to stop working on them. I get really bored really easily… not good when you have 8 big letters to decorate in 3 days. Oh well. After I glued the paper on the letters I went upstairs and watched Ghost Hunters aka TAPS. I so love that show! It was really good they caught an image of a large man sitting in a rocking chair on the thermal camera… but no one was sitting there! I know I know I am a dork but I love anything ghost related!

I am also excited because tomorrow I get to hang out for a little bit with Tim. He has been super busy with work and fixing his car we have not got to spend too much time together lately. But tomorrow night no excuses, lol do I sound a little mean, we will be hanging out. Don’t have a clue what we are doing yet but it will just be nice to hang out. Cause this weekend is busy for both of us, Saturday I have the birthday party and he has some guy coming to look at his car and refigure the program for the computer… yeah I don’t really get it either so don’t feel bad. Sunday if my great grandma is up to it I thought I might take her down to Newkirk, OK and go gambling at Native Lights Casino (Vegas just got a little closer!) The last time I went I came home with $450 more than I took with me so that was exciting. Maybe I can be a big winner again. I love playing the Wheel of Fortune quarter slot machines… cause if you play $.75 a time and this little wheel of fortune sign comes up it yells out Wheel of Fortune! And a special wheel at the top spins around and you win more money! Kind of fun… I am a dork and sit there and go big money big money big money as it spins around… just seems like something that all the contestants always say on the show.

The picture is from my trip to CO over the summer! Grandma insisted I get my picture taken in the big chair with the big sunflowers since I am from KS. I felt like a little kid in the chair.

Ok enough rambling for now. Hope you all have a great day!

My very first blog post... the world can continue to spin now!

Wow! I have a blog... and I will so promise you that I will not keep this updated. If I did you all would just be too overwhelmed with the greatness that is me! Oh seriously if I kept this updated it would just go against my procrastinator personality style and you know we can't have that happen. I don’t know what you can expect to find in this blog. I don’t lead a very exciting life. So you might just get random babbling that goes on and on without an end. Or you might get a picture of whatever crafty project I worked on that day/week/month whatever! Since I always carry a camera with me there might be times when a random picture pops up to go with the random babbling. And I am by no means a good photographer so don’t make too much fun of me… my poor excuse of a psyche can’t handle that!

Why Just Call Me Vic: Growing up all those who were close to me would call me Vic. Today only those in my family and my best friend call me Vic. But still it sticks and that is how I think of myself. And it was either that or Icki which a good friend growing up always called me. See "Just call me Vic" is much better than "Just call me Icki", right?

Random thought #1: Yesterday I got the sweetest compliment from my best friend's boss. He told Tim (my best friend) that I had one of the prettiest faces he has ever seen. Even though he is full of it, it made my day!

Random thought #2: See my pictures of my babies? Well ok I think they are my babies… is it sad that my dogs are like my children? At least I have not reached that stage where you are considered the “old crazy cat lady” so hopefully eventually I can throw a human child into my “babies” before I reach that stage. Penny (lower right corner) is a basset-rot mix, she has this look to her like she understands every word you say. Salsa (upper left corner) is a Sheppard mix aka mutt, and sometimes I wonder if her mommy and daddy were related because she is a special dog. Copper (upper right corner) is actually my best friend's dog but I claim him as one of my own cause he is just such a cutie! He is a Treeing Walker Coonhound, I was told I did not really love him because I did not put what type of dog he is... but see I do love him too.